IF ONLINE DATING WAS A PERSON, I WOULD PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE! - - I read an article today that said, “It’s time for the reigning champion of the internet to step aside – the booming industry of online dating has purportedly surpassed porn.” Hmmm, that is interesting. Online Dating is a bigger industry than Porn. Who would have thought? Wait… Are you %#@&$ kidding me?Online dating is a wonderful industry that has helped millions of singles find love and happiness, but should it be a bigger industry than Porn? I love porn. You love porn. Who doesn’t love porn? We all do NOT love online dating. How can it be the most lucrative industry on the internet when there are so many things WRONG with online dating?Think of it like this: You’re picking your fantasy life team and you have to pick industries to lead your attack. Would Online Dating be your number 1 pick? No way, and here is why:Things I HATE about online dating:
- Everybody lies! You upload a picture from 10 years ago and say it is you. I meet you for a coffee and you look NOTHING like your photo. I want to punch you in the face.
- I join websites that promise me they are free. I get giddy and excited. I try to search for a “hot partner,” I find one. I spend 30 minutes writing an email, I hit send. Then I get a pop-up that says, “I’m sorry, you cannot communicate with this member until you PAY $50 a month.” I want to punch that pop up in the face.
- I bite the bullet, decide to eat Ramen noodles for a while, and PAY $50 a month. I look for the same “hot partner” I found before I paid to communicate, but, I cannot find them. Where did they go? They have vanished! They’re not #!&@ real. It was a hook to get you to sign up. I was tricked. I am not happy. I want to punch the fake profile in the face.
- Boring. Online dating is boring. They all have the same stuff and ask you the same questions. Seriously people, I really don’t care if you’re a nurse or an astronaut. I’m more concerned if your conflict management skills involve throwing large objects at me or if you’re calm, collected and logical. Why don’t dating websites ask you real life questions? I want to punch these pointless questions in the face.
- I am greeted by beautiful home-pages with vibrant colors, easy navigation and a promise of love and available matches. I spend 30 minutes completing a profile. I gain access to the guts of the website and I become confused. The website has changed. It looks like diarrhea, navigation sucks, colors are gone, and website looks like it was built by a 10 year old. I want to punch that home page in the face.
- I search for a lesser known independent website in hope that it will be a better product vs. the dishonest junk the more popular sites have given me. I find one, I am excited. I spend 30 minutes creating a profile and hit Send. My web browser re-directs me to a different website that I have been to in the past. I am confused. I discover the independent website was a fake. I was tricked into re-joining a site I already hate! I want to punch the fake website in the face.
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